FEAR -has two meanings

I came across these intriguing expansions of the word FEAR and was sure it would provide an interesting analysis. Earlier I had written on the very popular expansion False Evidence Appearing Real (http://www.poweract.blogspot.in/2009/12/fear.html) and thought this to be an equally enlightening way to appreciate the context and interpretation in everyday life. 

Forget Everything And Run is something that everyone would experienced sometime or the other. It is the essence of survival else we would not have been blessed with it. There is nothing to be ashamed of by giving in to your fears for not all of us are alike and we all have our inhibitions, anxieties, quirks and phobias. However, we also carry a lot of false notions about our ability to cope with a stressful situation and that is when we need to ensure that our fear is not irrational, unsubstantiated or unfounded. E.g. Fear of exams is often the result of poor preparations that triggers panic as exams draw near. Fear of public speaking is actually a culmination of negative thinking about all the possible disastrous scenarios that we visualize and don’t dare to confront. 

So before we decide to give in to our fears we need to calmly examine the rationale and probability of our fears being genuine. E.g. A person with a very short temper would be well advised to realize his/ her inability to keep the temper in check and walk away from a possible explosive situation without feeling like a coward. Suicide is perhaps the most unfortunate nadir of FEAR translating to read Forget Everything And Run

Face Everything And Rise on the other hand is key tool that leaders utilize to stand tall and influence others. Confronting our fears is the best way to find out if the fears are valid or largely imaginary. The risk of ending up with egg on the face or failure is very real but the experience garnered would be invaluable. Being pragmatic and realistic is essential if one dares to face fears to ensure that the odds are favorable. E.g. It would be fool hardy to show false bravado and confront a desperate gunman, unless the person has no choice. Similarly taking on potentially dangerous dares or getting into an ugly spat with a charged up mob, tend to be foolish choices exercised when better alternatives could be at hand. 

Peer pressure is often a trigger for people to succumb to pressures of being seen as a sissy. Getting addicted to vices like drinking and smoking or drugs has its beginnings in people succumbing to peer pressure and indulging to begin with. If they face the pressure and rose above the pressure, it is possible that they would be spared the addiction.  Another example would be that of a person who is not comfortable driving at high speeds should never be pressurized by fellow passengers into reckless driving but be bold enough to face the taunts and stick to his/ her comfortable speed limit. Articulating a minority view points with passion and conviction in many ways is symbolic of how one can cope with a majority pressure and yet Face Everything And Rise.

Action Points :

How will you cope with the following FEARS ? Outline the next steps you would take?

• Having to take injections for the rest of your life?
• A looming breakdown of a relationship?
• A dramatic drop in your investment values with high probability of bankruptcy?
• Your inability to locate some vital personal documents like title deeds of property?
• You are advised a risky surgery ?

 How will you respond to the following scenarios?

• You are in the zoo and suddenly you notice that Lion has come out of its enclosure.
• You witness an accident from your window. Next day you hear that one person has died and the police is seeking statements from witnesses who would probably have to also visit the courts of and on.
• You have seen your neighbor’s child in the company of undesirable elements in the neighborhood.

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DARE

Most of us have noble intentions, are idealist by upbringing and would love to be seen as heroic when the chips are down. In reality though, notwithstanding our most utopian concept of our self, we falter when we have to stand up to be counted for we do not DARE and go ahead and Display Action Risking Everything. We fear the consequences, we are terrified of being the odd man out and refuse to take risks that could disturb the tranquilly that comes out of adherence to the norm.

We do not dare because we are by and large creatures of habit and we would prefer to traverse the known path, rather than explore possibilities that could be tougher, riskier and possibly life threatening. Other times we do not dare because we do not want to move out of our comfort zone. Those who fear public speaking are classic examples of individuals who prefer to be passive audiences than active participants. There are many who do not dare because they do not see a value proposition in pursuing that path. Remember the time in school when you knew the culprit but did not dare to tell it to the teacher because you did not see how you would benefit from being a tale tattler whilst the risk of being ostracized by the rest of the class was very probable.

Almost all of us enjoy giving a dare to others but could possibly shy away from attempting the same dare, Remember the dares we gave people when playing passing the parcel ?  True some of those dares seem pretty silly and childish on hindsight but all the same they were still challenging then. However there are many who enjoy the thrill of taking on a dare. They would be the first to take on a challenge, find the tallest tree to climb or the attempt to lift the heaviest rock that he/ she can grasp. Ironically it is perhaps this very quality that could be their undoing for false bravado often results in misplaced confidence and taking on very risky dares. This might explain the number of people who get swept away when they go swimming in the beaches despite warnings not to or ending up in fatal car crashes when speeding and losing control.

Then there are the professionals who take on some terribly risky dares. The various circus artistes are a prime example of professionals taking on dares. The care and motorcycle racing drivers are another set of professionals who flirt with danger by daring to race on treacherous tracks and in dangerous weather conditions. The most revered daredevils are the ones who sacrifice their life in the taking on dangerous missions. The policemen, the fire fighters and the soldiers all deserve a special salute for the very nature of their job involves being daring. However, what is significant to the readers is the knowledge that each of us has it in us to DARE; begin by  following the law, the path of righteousness and by championing the cause of the oppressed, the down trodden and the marginalized; all it requires us to do is Display Action Risking Everything.

Action Points:

1. Make a list of interesting dares that can be used whilst playing some party games.
2. If you haven’t attempted any of these, go on DARE to try any or all of them

• Hold a snake / white mice in your hand for 5 minutes at least.
• Sing a song using a karaoke in front of an audience of at least 5 people (your family of 5 counts as audience)
• Go scuba diving / go on a fishing trawler into the sea/
• Wear a traditional attire of a region that is completely alien to you
• Go for a classical music / dance program that you have never ever attended before.
• Try to play some musical instrument that you have never attempted before. (eg. Try to play the saxophone / play the western drums )

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BRAVE

Being BRAVE is often associated with risky daring exploits, the types immortalized by war heroes and over hyped by the movies; be it a James Bond genre or a Rocky series. More subtle variations of Bravery are displayed in spy thrillers and select war movies. The classical view of bravery depicts Bold Responsible Action Valued Everywhere and that is the epicenter of most of the exploits highlighted.

Far too often bravery is portrayed or understood to mean undertaking death defying challenges ostensibly for a just cause. The ultimate act of bravery is epitomized and lauded when a person dies in the line of duty whilst battling evil or enemies. Whilst there is no two opinions that flirting with death and succumbing to it at times is the pinnacle of bravery, one should not mistake that to be the only act of bravery. In daily life each of us is provided with a variety of opportunities to display our bravery. Unfortunately most times we prefer to choose soft options rationalizing that it is better to go with the flow than stand up and be in the eye of a storm. Standing up to resist any form of corruption would perhaps rank very high in the list of opportunities to be brave. This could be closely followed by opportunities to speak up against injustice, taking a principled stand on matters that need self regulation (eg. Following traffic discipline or refusing to allow another to copy from you in an exam) or being brave enough to own up ones mistakes.

Overcoming our fears and anxieties would be best tackled by finding ones reserve of bravery from deep within. Public speaking for example is widely accepted fear for most people and it takes a lot of courage to bravely volunteer to face an audience. You need to be doubly brave to repeat the performance in case you messed up the first time. Where power equations are dominant, as in seniors and juniors in academic institutions or in professional life where there is a boss subordinate relationship, those on the lower echelons would have to have display extraordinary bravery to resist the tyranny of those higher up in the hierarchy, Similarly treading an offbeat path be it in a career choice, pursuing a passion or dreaming big requires tremendous self belief and an even bigger slice of bravery.

To be BRAVE is not simply daring. It is daring coupled with caution; calculated risk taking transcribed into action and pushing the envelope when it matters most. That explains why one is seen as brave when it is an outcome of a Bold Responsible Action Valued Everywhere.

Action Points:

• Outline 3-5 areas of concern within your immediate personal, social, professional or physical environment that irks you or irritates you. Now outline a proactive plan of action that you will implement to ensure that you take steps to address the issue.
• Have you ever tried to learn juggling/ magic/ card tricks/ cartooning/ singing/ cartooning? Pick  2 from the list that you have never attempted and bravely announce to your immediate family and friends that you will regale them with those new talents before the year end.

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URGE

Progress is made only when someone has the urge to be proactive and try something different, create something new or bring about a change in the staid and mundane. This comes about only when one has the Unique Resolve Generating Enthusiasm. Everyone reading this can look back and visualize the countless ideas that one has flirted with, the critical evaluation of things and happenings around us, yet not too many can claim to have initiated the changes one wished. At the same time each of us can be proud of the small accomplishments that we would have triggered or executed be it reorganizing the furniture, investing in some household gadgets or cultivating a hobby, we can link it to giving in to the urge to make a difference.

If you are reading this, notice that it is the urge to read that has brought you this far. Similarly, it is important to realize that when you do something that is out of the way like chucking a well paying job to take on a social activist’s role or doing something innovative like learning a new dance form or merely giving freshness to the environment around like redecorating the house, the impetus comes from the urge within you. What is important to make the urge work is the enthusiasm that one generates that then translates into the resolve to get going. If we see it from this angle we can understand why with rare exceptions most times our New Year resolutions turn out to be damp squibs; for the resolution is first made and then we fail to inject the enthusiasm so essential to make the resolution a reality.

If you are a passionate supporter of a team, you would notice that in close games you unconsciously attempt to urge your team to victory. This urge is a variant that attempts to translate your enthusiasm to a common cause that you heartily support. If you have been to the horse races, you would notice that the jockeys make every effort to urge their horse to speed up and the whip is the most visible tool to translate this urge into an outcome. Urgency is another variant where the urge becomes reactive because matters have come to a head and it is essential that crucial steps be taken in haste. Here the enthusiasm is often propelled by fear of the consequences of timely action not be taken.

There are times when the urge seems to have lost its sting and that is when we simply go through the motions. We then participate not to reach our original goal but merely to satisfy a necessary requirement or to pander to our conscience. As individuals we need to constantly better ourselves each day. To achieve this we have to find the urge to tackle the mundane, the challenging, the routine and the impossible for everyday life is simply a combination of all these. Look closely at the lives of the great achievers in any field and you would notice that each of them has had his/ her share of failures; but what made them great is that URGE to keep going in relentless pursuit of their goals with their Unique Resolve Generating Enthusiasm.

Action Points:

Make a note of the most complain that the following individuals make against you and find the urge to address the complaint at the earliest

• Your spouse or sibling or parent
• Your superior be it a boss or a teacher
• Your friends/ colleagues/ social circle

Jot down three commitments for yourself ( 1 each for the following areas of your life)

• Commitment to a social service activity
• Commitment to a personal improvement activity
• Commitment to a quality family life activity

Power Act - from http://www.actspot.com/ is focused on -

Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our inspirational and motivational blog

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COURAGE

We experience real COURAGE when we Challenge Ourselves Utilize Resources And Get Empowered and this results in the triumph of our self belief over our inhibitions. Of course it is easier said than done partly because any form of courage requires us to overcome our fears but what impedes us most is our lack of self belief that by taking a courageous stand we can have some major bearing on the issues on hand. Another aspect that dampens our courage is our reluctance to commit ourselves and stay the course once we delve into it. Despite these obvious limitations we tend to display courage more often than we give credit to ourselves.

Broadly there are two types of courage we display – physical courage and moral courage. The former is more limited by our inability to confront the possibility of physical pain. The later thought is tougher because it involves making very conscious and possibly riskier choices with more damaging long term consequences. To understand this paradox we need to realize that we could have gone through both types of challenges to our courage when in school. Most times we wouldn’t mind taking on a bully or squaring up to a rough tackling opponent during the football matches but would be terrified of owning up to  the teacher when caught for some aberration like homework not being done or copying in an exam.

How does one become courageous? The answer lies partly in our upbringing, partly on our mental makeup but largely on our sense of fair play and justice. If one is brought up with a lot of freedom and acceptance and also encouraged to be daring without being a stupid risk taker chances are that one would be more forthcoming and decisive in ones thoughts and actions. Past experiences and a bit of genetics have an important bearing on our mental makeup, but it is possible that an independent thinking person will change for the better with time and determination. However it is the sense of fair play and justice that will ultimately have a major influence on the kind of courage we display. Maintaining balance is critical to display courage in the right measure. Being foolhardy and displaying stupid bravado is not courage and that is an important thought to be borne in mind.

So why is that we lack courage? At times we do experience the sharp pain of hurt, rejection, lack of understanding and loneliness when we embark on a courageous path. Often we find ourselves in a hopeless minority when we stand up for our principles or beliefs. The pain of isolation, the fleeting thought that maybe we are wrong, the overwhelming pressures brought on us by well meaning but perhaps misplaced views of the majority and the strain of furrowing a lonely path frighten us and we succumb to our inhibitions. Then there are threats to our limb an life which are too formidable to be ignored and too treacherous to be treated casually and the net result is that we give up our original courageous path.

Does this make us cowards? If we were to list out the times we have displayed our courage it would make for poor reading and the inference could be that we are cowards. The fault though is that we prune our list and do not list the daily acts of courage we display be it in simply being polite to a boorish person, standing up for our rights when palmed off with fault goods or being over charged, taking up for someone denied justice or simply exhibiting good sense when everyone is going berserk. These acts may not add up to much on the larger scale of courage as displayed by soldiers on the battle field or someone willing to face harassment and possibly being jailed for their own personal convictions. The real measure though is in displaying COURAGE continuously, consistently and courageously for then we Challenge Ourselves Utilize Resources And Get Empowered

Action Points:

1. Outline 3 situations in which you would have a very very tough time displaying personal courage. Also examine the possible reasons why you think you would not be able to exhibit your courage. 
2. Can you recollect 3 events / occasions in which you displayed personal courage. What was the feeling you experienced before, during and after the even happened?

 Power Act - from http://www.actspot.com/ is focused on -

Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our inspirational and motivational blog

http://www.actspot.wordpress.com