Saturday, May 29, 2010


The problem with change is two fold; it is constant and yet it is so variable. It may sound ironic but if you delve deeply into the subject of change you would realize that there is a change every moment and that is the constant factor while the type of change keeps varying each minute too. Unfortunately since most of us are creatures of habit, change is something we find hard to  accept, impossible to avoid and difficult to ignore. Yet if we just decide to objectively look at change we can with a Clear Head Accept New Growth Emerging.
Ideally we would like the status quo to continue except on the rare times when we are in pain or discomfort or if there is hope of getting something better, enjoyable or enviable. In real life change often brings about these positive benefits, but in our skewed and concocted way of seeing things we focus on the short term compromises that change will necessitate in our lives rather than seeing the long term benefits of change. With a clear head if one tries to appreciate the need for change you will realize that in most cases the beneficiary is us, albeit the fact that we may have to pay a small price for it. Look at the concept of an express highway, which may charge us a toll and it could possibly be a few kilometers longer but the drive is smother , more pleasurable and we reach our destination faster too.
Change in personal life is not so clear cut. Age brings about changes that we may not like; wrinkles, aches and pains, baldness etc but these are gradual so we reconcile to it with a sigh. Marriage brings about a big change for we are no longer one but two in one. The adjustments that come with it stress us out once the honeymoon is over, the starry lovers dreams suddenly become a distant dream and the chores of family life suddenly overwhelm us. Most of us adjust well to these changes because we are mentally prepared for it and we have examples before us to follow. However the change that strangles you suddenly, like the loss of a spouse or child is much more harder to bear. It is not only hard to accept but it is near impossible to see the benefit of that drastic change brought about by fate.
There may not be any rationale for change and yet we have to believe that by accepting the change we can be long term beneficiaries. Death of a loved one is classic case in point. Some changes are extremely tough to accept because it may run completely counter to your point of view. Abolishment of the death penalty or reservations for the less privileged could possibly fall under this category.  Some changes are so subtle that by the time we realize that there has been a change we are either forced to accept it or forced to wring our hands in despair for it is too late to counter it. The ill effects of climate change, depletion of the ozone layer, garbage disposal problems, depleting water resource etc. are some pointers to the malaise of change.
Since change has to be accepted as a way of life, it is best we anticipate the changes, prepare for changes likely to come and accept change and adopt or adapt to it.  It is also imperative for us to realize that all change signifies opportunities for improvement, benefit and growth. However it is only a Clear Head that Accepts New Growth Emerging. 
Action Points:
  1. Can you list out 3-5 changes that you know will definitely come your way in the next few years?  How are you going to cope with it? Eg. You could fall sick. I will have an insurance cover for it.
  2. Being creatures of habit we find it hard to easily accept change. Hence we shall attempt to do a few exercises to appreciate this.
  • Attempt to write with the other hand than the one you normally use. (Does this make you more responsive to the difficulty of a small child trying to write for the first time ).
  • You might be used to having a fixed style of putting your wallet and handkerchief in your trouser pockets. For a week change the pockets in which you keep these paraphelia. (See how disturbed you get.)
  • For a week, change the road that you normally take to work. Did you make any new discoveries like a new eatery or lovely tree on this road? (You won’t discover wonders till you are prepared to change.)

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Friday, May 21, 2010


Almost every day each of us is guilty of harboring DOUBTS which in effect means Dicey Opinion Uncertain Belief Truth Suspect. Doubts can be both external and internal in nature. While external doubts are all about our own suspicion about the intent, credibility and motives of people and situations we are exposed to, internal doubts are a result of lack of self belief, fear of consequences and inability to cope with pressures of life. Either way, we end up being uncomfortable, wary and untrusting which obviously leads us to living with a feeling of inadequacy and insecurity.

Those who have a compulsive feeling of insecurity, fear and suspicion are prone to harbor doubts far too often in all their interactions. While some of these negative traits are a result of unpleasant experiences most of it could be due to inappropriate scripting in the formative years either by parents, teachers or authoritative influencers. When doubts overshadow our relationships, trust is the first victim. Imagine being hauled up for cheating in an exam when you definitely did not do it. It violates your sense of fairness. If in addition you are penalized and your family does not support you, then the humiliation is complete and worse still you mistrust of those closest to you is fueled. Random events that may have shades of such injustice can then pummel you on to the path of extreme doubt and suspicion.

Similarly, when you have experienced some sort of failure; perhaps messing up your lines in a school play or being publicly reprimanded for a minor misdemeanor, in which you accidentally happen to be caught up, can flare angst at authorities and dent your confidence. Thereafter, doubts dominate your psyche and you tend to cover all your bases before making commitments and it can also include avoiding all forms of responsibilities. The down side of doubts is that we postpone, oscillate and avoid decisions. In effect we remain unsure, tend to be risk averse and lack the critical leadership skill of decision making. This in turn will reduce our effectiveness, truncate our growth professionally and personally and possibly limit our sphere of influence.

The fillip side of harboring doubts is that we become more careful, do not let prima-facie evidence sway our decisions and enable us to choose carefully reasoned outcomes with a much higher possibility of success. Doubts play a vital part in protecting us from impulsive, emotional and irrational acts but at the same time it should not become a weapon of self destruction when we fail to act on time simply because Dicey Opinion Uncertain Belief Truth Suspect becomes our daily mantra and we let our DOUBTS engulf our thought process.

Action Points:

  1. Make a list of 5 people who you are uncomfortable with. Now ask if one of the reasons for you being uncomfortable is that you doubt their intentions, do not trust them to tell the truth, feel they are holding back information or doubt their actions and words are not congruent. Do you have any proof to back your feelings? For a month can you suspend judgment about them and try to remove all doubts about them and notice if your initial assessment about them is wrong.
  2. Can you list out 3 events in your life where your doubts proved right and you went ahead and took action based on your hunch and so the unpleasant after effects were controlled. Also list 2 events where your doubts proved completely false and you were embarrassed or almost ruined a relationship because of your irrational doubts. Ask why did this happen and how or where did you go wrong.

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Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.
You are also invited to visit our daily inspirational and motivational blog

Friday, May 14, 2010


Look around and you will find plenty of people. However not all of them appeal to you and after interacting with some, you will definitely chose just a couple of people to spent more time with. As the interactions increase, there are threads of commonality and yawning chasms of differences between the individuals yet there is bonding with some individuals that defies logic and reason. Suddenly you have discovered a Fascinating Rare Individual Eternally Near & Dear whom you call a FRIEND.

No one goes around consciously identifying a friend, although it is possible that we are seeking company when amongst strangers. Take the first day of school or the first day in college or at work. There is need to interact, be accepted, have another person to lean on etc. all traits of the man being a social animal theory. In the ensuing search we seek someone with a friendly disposition, a familiar face if possible, a non threatening personality and hopefully someone we can gel with. Strangely enough the entire process of identifying such a person is largely visual, definitely perceptual and invariably fateful; some bond lifelong and most fizzle over time

It often transpires that when we see some combination of friends, we are dumbstruck as to how two diametrical opposite individuals can ever gel let alone be friends. There could be intimate friendships between people from completely divergent backgrounds culturally, financially, educationally or temperamentally. The beauty of friendship is that it transcends logic, rational and instead embraces mental bonding and emotional vibes. This can also be the reason why there are times when a friend’s friend is a complete antithesis to our expectations and we just can’t figure out how our friend can have a close friendship with a person we disapprove off or detest or loathe. Perhaps this also explains how friends become partners in crime. Somehow they seem to be in sync when it comes to their interests, passions, pleasures and they seem to believe that the end justifies the means.

It is empathy that is the corner stone of friendship. We may not approve of all that our friends do. We may in fact actively discourage them from what we perceive as illegal or undesirable activities. We may even threaten to cut of our friendship but we rarely do it except when the other party has in our view gone beyond redemption. We empathize when despite our greatest reservations, despite societal pressures and in spite of being let down by our friend, we still extend our hand of friendship simply because he/ she is a Fascinating Rare Individual Eternally Near & Dear whom you choose to call a FRIEND.

Action Points:
  1. Can you remember the earliest friendships from school days? How many of them still remain your friends. What is it that binds your friendship? Can you reach out to some friends whom you have lost touch with but would cherish reconnecting with? Use social networking sites and the like to reconnect.
  2. Do visit  and go through the links on Friendship on the right of the blog. You will get more insights into friendship and a variety of other action points.

 Power Act - from  is focused on -
Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.
You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog  

Thursday, May 6, 2010


When we take PRIDE in any achievement we are giving ourselves Personal Recognition of Individual Development Everyday. Any achievement that involves us, makes us a shade better than what we were before the success, and it is but human for each one to feel nice about the success. Pride is essential to fuel the spirit, nourish the soul and invigorate the individual. A pat on the back for a job well done, a word of appreciation or a simple smile of recognition makes our hearts swell with pride, for we know that we stand out in the crowd.

It is important to realize that, we cannot let our success go to our heads or else we will swell with pride and like an over inflated balloon may burst at the slightest prick. An old adage states ‘Pride comes before a fall’; the obvious reference is to being so self centered about the success that we forget those who helped achieve it. While a medal winner in a competition can take pride at his/ her achievement, they have to temper that pride with the reality that, there are coaches and support staff who have worked almost as hard to ensure that success. Pride at a successful team effort is recognition of both the individual contribution and the collective team effort. It is important to realize that even the substitutes on the bench who may never have been part of a single game, take pride in being part of a team. This comes from the knowledge that it is their individual strength that made them an integral part of the team and if the opportunity had presented itself they would on the ground assisting in the victory.

Pride is not a momentry feeling or a feeling that overwhelms you at a momentous occasion. True pride is in the small achievements of every day living. When you dress up and look smart on your way to work, the little high that you get that makes you feel good and confident, is pride manifesting in you. The sense of doing good when you help someone in distress or the joy you get in wining a small prize in an impromptu event, gives your self worth a sense of recognition and triggers pride in you. It is imperative that we feel that sense of pride a number of times in a day, for that makes us more aware of the critical role we play in our daily life. It also makes us realize how each day that passes by has given us opportunities to grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and PRIDE is this Personal Recognition of Individual Development Everyday.

Action Points:
  1. For a week make an inventory of the varied forms of positive recognition that we get everyday. It could be in the form of thanks from someone, a good job done recognition, a personal sense of achievement maybe for a job well done or meeting a deadline or meeting a commitment. It could be in terms of lending an ear to someone in distress or offering support to some one trouble.
  2. The next week make it a habit to seek out opportunities to invoke a sense of pride in others. The varied ways in which you recognized the pride in you will prove enough examples for you to return the favor. Be genuine in praise, objective in appreciation and liberal with your thanks. Ask yourself if you experienced a sense of pride when you invoke pride in others? 
Power Act - from  is focused on -
Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.
You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog