Friday, May 14, 2010


Look around and you will find plenty of people. However not all of them appeal to you and after interacting with some, you will definitely chose just a couple of people to spent more time with. As the interactions increase, there are threads of commonality and yawning chasms of differences between the individuals yet there is bonding with some individuals that defies logic and reason. Suddenly you have discovered a Fascinating Rare Individual Eternally Near & Dear whom you call a FRIEND.

No one goes around consciously identifying a friend, although it is possible that we are seeking company when amongst strangers. Take the first day of school or the first day in college or at work. There is need to interact, be accepted, have another person to lean on etc. all traits of the man being a social animal theory. In the ensuing search we seek someone with a friendly disposition, a familiar face if possible, a non threatening personality and hopefully someone we can gel with. Strangely enough the entire process of identifying such a person is largely visual, definitely perceptual and invariably fateful; some bond lifelong and most fizzle over time

It often transpires that when we see some combination of friends, we are dumbstruck as to how two diametrical opposite individuals can ever gel let alone be friends. There could be intimate friendships between people from completely divergent backgrounds culturally, financially, educationally or temperamentally. The beauty of friendship is that it transcends logic, rational and instead embraces mental bonding and emotional vibes. This can also be the reason why there are times when a friend’s friend is a complete antithesis to our expectations and we just can’t figure out how our friend can have a close friendship with a person we disapprove off or detest or loathe. Perhaps this also explains how friends become partners in crime. Somehow they seem to be in sync when it comes to their interests, passions, pleasures and they seem to believe that the end justifies the means.

It is empathy that is the corner stone of friendship. We may not approve of all that our friends do. We may in fact actively discourage them from what we perceive as illegal or undesirable activities. We may even threaten to cut of our friendship but we rarely do it except when the other party has in our view gone beyond redemption. We empathize when despite our greatest reservations, despite societal pressures and in spite of being let down by our friend, we still extend our hand of friendship simply because he/ she is a Fascinating Rare Individual Eternally Near & Dear whom you choose to call a FRIEND.

Action Points:
  1. Can you remember the earliest friendships from school days? How many of them still remain your friends. What is it that binds your friendship? Can you reach out to some friends whom you have lost touch with but would cherish reconnecting with? Use social networking sites and the like to reconnect.
  2. Do visit  and go through the links on Friendship on the right of the blog. You will get more insights into friendship and a variety of other action points.

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