EMOTIONS

Life is made of moments and for human beings every moment has fleeting glimpses of varied EMOTIONS which is nothing but Each moment of transitional inner omnipresent natural sensation. From being gregarious to being weepy or fearful we experience stress and thrill in varied measure each moment of our life. A simple phone call can change our emotions around and surprises can turn to shock in a jiffy. Sports, especially close contests in which you are an interested party, offers the perfect setting for an array of emotions that you experience.

Very broadly, the most common emotions that each individual continually experiences include the following, Love, Joy, Surprise, Anger, Sadness and Fear. The challenge for human beings is to be able to control their emotions lest the emotions overwhelm and lead to undesirable consequences. Control of emotions does not necessarily mean not expressing the emotion but implies that we should be able to quickly become aware of the intensity of the emotion and keep that in check from consuming us. Infatuation for example could be the emotion of love gone awry. Revenge on the other hand is a mix of anger and hurt creating a potent mix to trick the mind into being subverted by the emotion. Then there are fears masquerading in various guises; nothing beats superstitions for sheer variety of fears.

Every emotion has a role to play in shaping our personality. Anger for example is an emotion that spurns us to action. The anti incumbency factor that votes out an existing government is an example of collective anger being constructively channelized for positive results. Fear is an emotion that prevents us from being foolhardy and taking stupid risks. Sadness especially when we experience failures is an emotion that alerts us to the complexities of life and the challenges we are likely to confront despite the best of preparations. Happiness acts as a great motivator to pursue success, become daring and aim higher; for as they say greater the obstacle greater the glory. Love is an all pervading emotion. It is an emotion that can engulf all other emotions; a soldier sacrifices his/ her life  for love of the country while a spurned lover can turn into a revengeful person for he / she cannot overcome the overwhelming power of the emotion of love in their being.

None can brush aside emotions though many would pretend to be indifferent to it. Emotions are part of the core of our life and being. What we need to be aware of is the numerous emotions that keep tugging at our hearts and minds constantly for they consist of Each moment of transitional inner omnipresent natural sensation. 

Harness the power of the emotions within you, to spur you to positive thoughts, decisive action and desired results.

Action Points

1. Click on the following link to become aware of the various shades of emotions that you experience in daily life. http://changingminds.org/explanations/emotions/basic%20emotions.htm
2. What emotions are involved / will you experience in the following situations?

• You are reluctant to be a blood donor although you are healthy person who can regularly donate blood. ( If you are not some one who can donate blood how will you ensure that you can motivate someone to donate blood?)
• You catch a pickpocket red handed.
• You are unable to locate your passport.
• You are deliberately framed by your colleagues for a serious lapse.
• You have committed a serious blunder and could lose your job. Yet you have the option to deflect the root cause elsewhere and escape punishment but in the process may put the careers of others in jeopardy.
• You are aware of a serious breach / misconduct of higher ups but find yourself hapless due to the influential positions the higher-ups are in.

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HEART

Within the confines of one’s HEART lies the key to life in its physical form but more importantly life in its emotional avatar for it  Holds Empathy Appreciation Respect & Trust. The ECG can at best give an output that mimics the state of one’s heart in its physical form but the true nature of one’s heart lies in the manner and mode in which one is able to cope with the people, situations and feelings that one has to face day in and day out.

While emotions are never triggered by the heart, there is a predominately romantic feel in associating all emotions with the heart. In particular the more positive ones like love, affection, kindness etc are always conjured up as emitting from the heart while the extremely despicable ones like hate, anger, revenge etc are associated with an evil and stone like heart. Consequentially the good and the evil are both given some space in the confines of the heart; with the former occupying a disproportionately larger area.

Love is the most common emotion that the heart is supposed to be filled with. While a heart is portrayed as the most visible cliché of a romantic shade of love, what it does not fully bring to the fore are the other shades of love like love for family, friends, objects and things. What is even less evident is the reality that the heart if used as the epicenter of positive emotion holds a wide range emotions that give purpose, meaning and positive energy in relationships. Let us examine a few of these.

Empathy- it is the equivalent of walking in another’s shoes. Only then can we know where the shoe pinches and we can appreciate their view point and perhaps even experience what they go through.

Appreciation- Many of us secretly admire others but rarely do we take the initiative to express our appreciation. Pause for a moment and look back at the numerous times we have felt elated when appreciated by others. It is not that we lack the ability to appreciate but what we lack is the drive and the magnanimity to express it.

Respect – This is all about acknowledging age, experience, expertise and being humble. Only one with a strong upbringing and a pure heart can have this in ample measure.

Trust – The simple adage Trust begets trust should be the trigger to help us express our confidence and belief in others. It is possible that occasionally our trust could be misplaced and we regret our mistake. However, that should not be an yardstick to judge others for each person is an individual different from others and each one inherently must be extended your trust.

In an ideal world an ideal person with the perfect heart would be the one who Holds Empathy Appreciation Respect & Trust in his/ her HEART

Action Points:

1. Here is a picture of a hear with a few spaces earmarked. Can you fill it up with other positive emotions that your heart possesses?
2. Can you outline some other English terms associated with the heart.eg. stone hearted, hearty laugh, large hearted etc. How many of these terms apply to you? 

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TOUCH

An oft ignored human expression of emotion is the element of TOUCH. Be it shaking hands with someone or giving someone a hug or a pat on the back or merely holding hands, the varied emotions that come through touch are under rated because very few have realized that TOUCH is The Original Universal Connection to Heart. Ever consciously noticed how in a spontaneous gesture of affection we ruffle the hair of a kid or kiss a chubby little baby? Imagine the feeling of joy and warmth that envelops us when we extend that touch and an overwhelming emotion gets triggered in our heart.

In everyday life the most commonly used touch between adults is a handshake. It is not just a greeting but an expression of equality, acceptance, welcome and respect. In formal settings or when initial contact is made the handshake may be very ritualistic but when a camaraderie is built up and the relationship is more friendly, the handshake gets transformed into an expression of genuine warmth and delight. The handshake has and equally important role ironically in very tragic circumstances particularly at funerals when the condolences are offered to the bereaved. Baden Powell the founder of Scouts movement gave the handshake a touch with a twist. He introduced the concept of scouts shaking hand with the left hand based on his initial contact with an Indian leader in the wild west. (Check the net to find out more about this). It may also be interpreted that this gesture is special too since the heart is closer to the left hand and a left handed shake hand was both symbolic of the seriousness of intent and an appropriate gesture.

Hugs and kisses are not too far behind as methods demonstrating the power of touch. Hugs accentuate the whole body touch to convey the warmth and the closeness that exists between the parties involved. The meeting of long lost friends, family members or close relatives is a time when the hug becomes the silent but powerful communicator of the emotions. Ironically again, the hug also conveys the deepest emotion of sorrow and empathy that one conveys to someone in pain. Children in particular relish a hug for it also ensconces the security that they desperately seek at that vulnerable age. A kiss is a more overt expression of love whether it be between parents and children, between lovers or newlyweds. A kiss is in many ways is the ultimate expression of love and affection expressed as a touch.

Then there are other favored expressions of touch like walking hand in hand, ruffling the hair and fondling which are common place in daily life. The danger of inappropriate touch is a cause for concern though. What is important however, is the recognition of the reality that TOUCH as a sensation and expression of emotion plays a crucial role in the shaping our life and the lives of others we come in contact with for ultimately it is The Original Universal Connection to Heart.

Action Points:

1. If you have a domesticated pet or if you can observe a domesticated pet and its owner, pay attention to how the pet seeks the affection of its master and attempts to get its masters touch. Dogs in particular overtly seek the touch of its owners. Imagine how much a human being craves for the power of touch.
2.  Next time you shake hands with a stranger/ a friend/ a long lost cousin pay attention to the intensity, duration, style and firmness of the handshake. Do you see a correlation between the handshakes and the intimacy you share with the other party?

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SMART

What distinguishes something special and catches the eye is how SMART the appeal is to the beholder. This is true for inanimate objects as well as for people. While for inanimate objects the outward appearance plays a vital role in zooming on to something smart, ultimately it is not just the outward looks but the overall features that influences. In the case of people too, the grooming, the personality and the body language definitely influences ‘first impressions’. However it is the confidence, the knowledge and the ability to effectively communicate that ultimately determines how  a Stylish Modern Approach Radiates Tastes and conveys the SMART impression. 

Our focus here will be on how individuals can be SMART and reap the rewards. The key lies in aligning and balancing the key dimensions of an individual’s life and ensuring that one manages to be smart in each of these areas. 

Physical : Personal grooming, dressing, manners and body language would be the major sub components that make up this dimension of an individual. The taste in clothing and accessories, the style and panache with it is carried would of course depend on the occasion and the setting but in the end they matter the most for they form the ‘first impressions’. Manners and etiquette's accentuate the first impressions and the way one carries oneself in stature, posture and demeanor could reinforce the initial judgment. 

Mental:  Knowledge and intelligence are two major components that make up this aspect of an individual. Being well read, updated and sharing opinions and views would enable one to display the knowledge that one has. Using the knowledge and experience efficiently and creatively at work and in everyday living could focus attention on intelligence. Judgment, discretion and decisiveness are other traits that would have a bearing on how mentally smart a person is perceived to be. 

Emotional: Feelings are a good barometer of emotions. Feeling trigger emotions of anger, hope, jealously, happiness, fear, frustration etc. Managing emotions, particularly negative emotions present both a challenge and an opportunity that in the long run determines how others perceive an individual. Being optimistic, having a positive attitude, being bold and daring are traits that are much valued in an individual. At the same time display of anger, bitterness, rudeness, fear and frustration are emotions that deflect attention from the core strengths and mars another wise smart personality. 

Holistic: Since no one can live in isolation, the holistic perception is ultimately formed by observing the social dimensions of the individual. The ability to gel well with others, the capacity to have strong interpersonal relationships,  the seamless way one can strongly disagree without being disagreeable etc. ultimately provide the inflection point that determines how others judge  an individual’s personality. A smart personality indicates that the reality is evident and that the potential is available.

In the ultimate analysis, it is obvious that all the dimensions pertaining to an individual must be well aligned and in ample measure if one qualifies to be viewed as SMART. It is then that an individual’s Stylish Modern Approach Radiates Tastes and is acknowledged by the world at large. 

Action Points:

1. Identify one smart individual preferably known to you, in each of the following categories. Identify their  2 strongest qualities.

• A teacher
• A colleague
• A competitor
• A former classmate
• A person of the opposite sex

1. As an individual identify 2 specifics in each of the following dimensions that you would need to work on and improve so that you can project an even more smart personality.

• Physical
• Mental
• Emotional
• Holistic

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FEEL

We all have a wide variety of thoughts and they translate into varied feelings depending on the situation and the setting. When you FEEL you are actually Finding Enough Emotional Liberation. One can have a variety of feelings, love being the most predominant one, followed by liking, affection, acceptance etc. on the positive side and anger, hate, irritation, annoyance etc on the negative side. 

Emotions come to the fore only when the thought process is ignited by the need for expression overtly or covertly. While romantics have often highlighted the ‘love at first sight’ theory, the reality is that love is an outcome of a feeling that comes to fore over time. Liking, affection and acceptance follow a similar pattern. Occasionally, anger can be triggered by a sudden tidal way of negative emotion. However most times even the negative emotions are built up over a period of time and then one finds it hard to suppress it and then it comes out in a very expressive way. 

While most feelings are expressed verbally, it is the body language that really mirrors the feeling. The facial expressions, the proximity, the tone, the choice of words, the rate of speech etc. all reflect the feel of the person. Feelings can be expressed in many other ways particularly by way of gifts, cards, flowers etc. when there are positive feelings to be expressed. On the other hand negative emotions are easily understood by the profanity, foul language, use of expletives and loud tone and violent expressions emoted.

When our feelings are made obvious, we are communicating our innermost thoughts, passions and reactions. This is a key need for a human being to unburden, connect  and grow When we unburden our negative emotions we are like a pressure cooker which has to let out steam lest it bursts with the pressure. We connect when we share our hurt and sorrows, spread joy and happiness and express our annoyance and frustrations with those around us and in particular with those who are close to us. In expressing our feelings of hope, ambition, fears, passions and wants we grow in faith, spirit and hope.

As we journey along the pathway of life, we realize that life will always be an emotional roller coaster ride. We have to traverse it by ourselves but the wonderful part is we have enough companions on our journey. If we have to make this long ride smooth, joyous and successful we have to reconcile to the fact that we can never do it all alone. Our companions will help us ensure that we share the burdens, encourage each other, appreciate one another’s strengths and support those who are falling behind. We can give such help and receive it in ample measure only when we FEEL strongly about our journey, our companions and ourselves and suddenly we are no longer inhibited and we Find Enough Emotional Liberation to express what we FEEL. 

Action Points:

1. Introspect and see what are the actions, words and expressions you use when you are very very angry. Also observe which people  you normally choose to vent your ire and frustrations on. (Most times they are people who are very close to you for you unconsciously realize they are more forgiving)
2. How easily do you forgive others? Do you carry a grudge in your heart for long? Are you able to easily say sorry and accept your mistakes? 
3. What is your favorite expression of joy/ happiness and delight. When you express your happiness do you get upset if the others don’t share your enthusiasm or fully partake in you joy?
   

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