Monday, August 16, 2010


As children we are often encouraged by our parents and teachers to SHARE and this ensures that we Start Helping All Receive Enough. While some of us felt happy to share what ever we had, most of us were more possessive and declined to voluntarily share our possessions unless cajoled or compelled to do so. Ironically, almost all of us coveted what others had and felt hurt and miserable when we denied those goodies by those who were fortunate to own them. Whether it was a ride on a rickety tricycle or sharing a cricket bat or a piece of cake or some cookies, if someone else had it we felt the urge to partake of it.

The psychology of sharing gives us insights into our own mindsets and behavior patterns. Most times we refused to share because we took pride in not just owning something but took perverse pleasure in denying it to others. It could be the latest gadgets or toys that we might not even know how to use or enjoy but we got a strange pleasure in denying someone else the opportunity to explore the wonders of it. Sharing would also expose us to the risk of getting less of the object be it an edible item or less time to enjoy if it were a non edible item. Very high on our risk parameter is the risk of damage/ breakage or appropriation by the borrower. In fact if we look back there must b so much we have hoarded over the years without either using it or enjoying it and with time the object has lost it relevance or utility or has become outdated an stale. Look at the number of old LP records or spool tapes that we refused to let any one borrow. Are there some pens and stationary that we hoarded for use at a good time? Do you have books that have never ever been opened and read but never given to anyone to refer to either?

Now look back at the times when you were the beneficiary of the largesse of some kind friend or understanding elders who let you partake of something that you could never have owned. Perhaps it was learning to cycle on a friend’s bicycle which you fell of from numerous times scraping yourself and damaging the cycle too. The pain of the fall must have long been forgotten but the pleasure of cycling still triggers a warm feeling inside. Imagine you looking longingly at a doll or a ball that you so desperately wanted but could not afford but most surprisingly somehow your parents managed to gift it to you for your birthday. Also recollect the pleasure you derived from bringing wonder, surprise and awe on the faces of those who benefited from your magnanimous gesture of sharing some of your prized possessions. The most common item that one shares is books (unfortunately reading is no longer as popular today) and that apart perhaps you lend someone a suit for his first big date or a cherished cosmetic to a young lady on her prom night.

When one has to SHARE, it is important that we do it with good grace. There is no fun in sharing grudgingly, unwillingly or reluctantly for the feeling of bad grace pervades and dampens the spirit of sharing. It is equally vital that we share not just from what we can spare but real sharing is giving out of your little. Remember sharing lunch during school days, with friends who craved your mother’s special dishes and you let them eat it all, saying there is more at home for me when you knew that there wasn’t any left. When giving off clothes you have outgrown ensure that it is mended, washed and really presentable. It is worthwhile remembering that when you SHARE you ensure that you Start Helping All to Receive Enough and since what goes around comes around you will soon get your SHARE too.

Action Points:
  1. Make a list of all the things you have collected/hoarded/ stored which you do not visualize using in the immediate future. Against each item write down the name/s of someone who will appreciate it or make good use of it. Work out a schedule to share these items that you no longer need. Ensure that you have a big smile and a warm hug when giving these goodies off.
  2. Some of the simplest things that you can share include a warm smile/ a pat on the back/ lavish praise/ heartfelt sympathy/ a thank you note/ respectful acknowledgement / volunteering your time and efforts

The answers to the questions in the previous blog dated 4th August 2010 are
  • H _ _ n   (4)   HYMN
  • G_ p _ y (5)   GYPSY
  • M _ t _   (4)    MYTH
  • R_y_h_   (5)   RHYTHM
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