Friday, May 21, 2010

DOUBTS

Almost every day each of us is guilty of harboring DOUBTS which in effect means Dicey Opinion Uncertain Belief Truth Suspect. Doubts can be both external and internal in nature. While external doubts are all about our own suspicion about the intent, credibility and motives of people and situations we are exposed to, internal doubts are a result of lack of self belief, fear of consequences and inability to cope with pressures of life. Either way, we end up being uncomfortable, wary and untrusting which obviously leads us to living with a feeling of inadequacy and insecurity.

Those who have a compulsive feeling of insecurity, fear and suspicion are prone to harbor doubts far too often in all their interactions. While some of these negative traits are a result of unpleasant experiences most of it could be due to inappropriate scripting in the formative years either by parents, teachers or authoritative influencers. When doubts overshadow our relationships, trust is the first victim. Imagine being hauled up for cheating in an exam when you definitely did not do it. It violates your sense of fairness. If in addition you are penalized and your family does not support you, then the humiliation is complete and worse still you mistrust of those closest to you is fueled. Random events that may have shades of such injustice can then pummel you on to the path of extreme doubt and suspicion.

Similarly, when you have experienced some sort of failure; perhaps messing up your lines in a school play or being publicly reprimanded for a minor misdemeanor, in which you accidentally happen to be caught up, can flare angst at authorities and dent your confidence. Thereafter, doubts dominate your psyche and you tend to cover all your bases before making commitments and it can also include avoiding all forms of responsibilities. The down side of doubts is that we postpone, oscillate and avoid decisions. In effect we remain unsure, tend to be risk averse and lack the critical leadership skill of decision making. This in turn will reduce our effectiveness, truncate our growth professionally and personally and possibly limit our sphere of influence.

The fillip side of harboring doubts is that we become more careful, do not let prima-facie evidence sway our decisions and enable us to choose carefully reasoned outcomes with a much higher possibility of success. Doubts play a vital part in protecting us from impulsive, emotional and irrational acts but at the same time it should not become a weapon of self destruction when we fail to act on time simply because Dicey Opinion Uncertain Belief Truth Suspect becomes our daily mantra and we let our DOUBTS engulf our thought process.

Action Points:

  1. Make a list of 5 people who you are uncomfortable with. Now ask if one of the reasons for you being uncomfortable is that you doubt their intentions, do not trust them to tell the truth, feel they are holding back information or doubt their actions and words are not congruent. Do you have any proof to back your feelings? For a month can you suspend judgment about them and try to remove all doubts about them and notice if your initial assessment about them is wrong.
  2. Can you list out 3 events in your life where your doubts proved right and you went ahead and took action based on your hunch and so the unpleasant after effects were controlled. Also list 2 events where your doubts proved completely false and you were embarrassed or almost ruined a relationship because of your irrational doubts. Ask why did this happen and how or where did you go wrong.

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3 comments:

  1. May I know what all courses are been covered under corporate trainings?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Jenefier

    We offer a wide variety of soft skills training including Communications Skills, Presentation Skills, Team Building, Assertiveness Training etc. The following link will give you more details of the corporate training modules.

    http://www.actspot.com/corporate-training.html

    Regards

    B.Jacob
    www.actspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. great post. Keep on posting.
    Shall help a lot of people to channelize their energy in right direction

    ReplyDelete