THANKS

We deal with the third of the magic words in English, which we extensively use in our everyday conversation. Despite our best efforts we have to necessarily live with others and this means there is always some give and take. Therefore when we get something from others we have to be grateful and when we give, it is logical that others will be grateful in most cases. The one common way to express our sincere gratefulness is by saying THANKS which is True Honest Appreciation Nicely Kindly Shared.

It is important to note that if we say thanks as an obligation, we will neither convey our sincerity nor will we get the satisfaction of having being truthful and genuine. It is essential therefore that we should learn to appreciate the efforts and importance of others in our lives for only then can we really know their worth and contribution to our daily living. If you look back the people whom we often took for granted are our parents. They have definitely had to sacrifice so many things just to ensure that we are brought up right, given the right upbringing, education and values. They have had anxious moments when we fell sick, when we found it hard to cope with studies, when we fought with our friends and got injuries when playing; and yet did we care to tell them thanks (except perhaps when they obliged you or gave you some gifts). Perhaps we also felt foolish saying thank you to them, but thanks can be also expressed in many other ways.

While saying thanks aloud is the easiest way of expressing our sentiments, there are so many other ways to convey our thanks. A spontaneous gift in appreciation is both a token of love and thanks. Remember the little gifts we gave our lover for no particular reason than to say I love you and also to convey our thanks for their presence in our lives. A hug and a kiss are also demonstrative ways of saying thanks. If you don’t hug your parents and siblings you are missing a wonderful opportunity to express yourself fully to them. Picking up the phone and chatting with a friend is another way of saying how much you value them in your life. Speaking well of people when talking to others is perhaps a very subtle and much appreciated form of conveying your thanks about the person being spoken about. There is nothing like a personal visit with no personal agenda that conveys genuine thanks to the people you visit. Do you any particular school teacher who has had a profound positive impact on your life? Have you ever visited them after leaving school and just told them how much you value them? 

We have ample opportunities in daily life to display our upbringing and manners and motivating others by saying thanks. It could be someone who helped you pick up something you have dropped or it could be the cab driver who was courteous and professional in his work or it could be a colleague who went out of his/ her way to help you meet a deadline. Of course each day is incomplete without a word of thanks to the almighty without whose blessings our life would be meaningless and incomplete.   We can express our thanks to the almighty too in various ways mostly commonly in the form of prayers but also in strictly following rituals or in just living a good and holy life. The key to saying THANKS is in expressing it as a True Honest Appreciation Nicely Kindly Shared. 

Action Points: 

1. Make a list of people who have had a major influence on your life and whom you would like to thanks. Outline a plan of action by using the learning from above to express your thanks to them.
2. Try to identify at least 3 people whom you meet during the course of the day who could do with some appreciation and you must make it a point to thank them genuinely for what they do well, even if it is them simply doing their job.eg.it could be the postman or a courteous bus conductor or the waiter in the restaurant.

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Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog http://www.actspot.wordpress.com/

PLEASE

In last weeks post we saw the first of the 3 magic words in English –SORRY. Today we focus on the another magic word PLEASE which each and everyone of us has used very extensively, primarily to get our way but mainly to seek the indulgence of others. We use it as requests, occasionally it is used because of force of habit but it is most effective when we use it as fervent entreaties. Usually the other person gives a patient hearing and accepts our pleas, when we say PLEASE especially when it comes out as Plain Lament & Earnest Appeal Seeking Empathy.  

The magic in please lies in its simplicity and its power of diffusing the toughest of situations, melting hardened hearts and softening the blows of deserved punishments. To begin with, as children we have liberally used the word please to seek parental approval for some of our pet plans which at first may have been opposed by our elders. It could be seeing late night TV on a weekend, having a sleepover at a friends place or wanting an expensive gift or toy. There were times of course when the fervent entreaties didn’t work and we got upset and angry and threw tantrums which occasionally helped us get our way but more often than not simply turned out to be a frustrating experience. Yet the next time around we still persisted with saying please.  

One of the wonders of the word please is that it can be used irrespective of one’s age, one’s social status or one’s ultimate objective. Not just children, almost every one resorts to the power of PLEASE to expresses their anguish and pain as also to get the favor one seeks. One of the oddest sights in democracy is the desperate please extensively spouted by the electoral candidates when canvassing for votes. Equally ironical is the please served as defensive pleas by the lawyers of accused criminals seeking leniency in sentencing. For the ordinary mortal, using please to get our way ahead in a line or to catch the attention of someone for help or for some physical assistance are most common place. 

Of course each of us has also resorted to using please to seek pardon for some error or mistake or to get some favors but it is when the please is a desperate attempt to hold on to affections that it has a poignant ring and pain in it. Many may have experienced the please that follows a lovers tiff. It has a ring of genuine sorry, a desperate cry and the willingness to accept once fault all to ensure that our plea is heard and accepted. The please that follows a lovers tiff is also the one that keeps losing its sheen the more often it is used. It is the please that children poignantly cry out when berated and ignored as punishment by their parents that often melts the hardened hearts and brings quick relief to a tense and unpleasant situation. Unfortunately many many times, there are people all around us who are desperately seeking affection, understanding, companionship, support, acceptance and solace but we seem to be indifferent to their needs. They do not articulate their please aloud, but it is for us to hear it in our hearts, in our conscience and in our humaneness and then we can hear PLEASE as a Plain Lament & Earnest Appeal Seeking Empathy. 

Action Points:  

1. When we are at fault are we ashamed to admit it? Do we find it humiliating to also say please and ask for pardon for our mistakes? Do we find it hard to forgive those who say please and humbly seek our forgiveness? 
2. Think of the most poignant moments in your life when you said please and was rewarded with a pardon /reprieve /forgiveness/ understanding

• When you disobeyed your parents and then sought forgiveness
• When you goofed at school and sought a teachers pardon
• When you had a bitter misunderstanding with a close friend and latter wanted to clear the air
• When you wrongly accused someone and on realizing your error wanted to be forgiven for the mistake
• When you bitterly fought/ disagreed with your spouse / lover and then sought reconciliation

PS: Here is the answer to the 2^nd Try This in the post in our daily blog www.actspot.wordpress.com  dated 19Jan11, on The Challenge of Decision Making   is ‘We would decide to try and save the painting nearest the exit.’ Logical isn’t it, for our life is more precious to us than our favorite painting.

Power Act - from http://www.actspot.com/ is focused on -

Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog http://www.actspot.wordpress.com/   

SORRY

It is said that the English language has three magic words and one of those magical words is SORRY. It often happens that knowingly or unknowingly we tend to upset people, hurt them physically or emotionally, betray their trust or simply ignore them and then when we realize our folly, the relationships is often strained if not completely yanked off. Fortunately the English language has this magical word SORRY that acts as an instant balm to heal all wounds, if said with sincerity, with feeling and with the hope of restoring relationships. SORRY is a Simple Option to Rejoin Relations Yanked

Unfortunately this word has been overused and used indiscriminately and so far too often its effectiveness has been dulled. Yet the power of the word sorry is phenomenal and when it is applied in the right context, for the right reason and in the right manner, it can transform relationships beyond imagination. The key is in using the word correctly. This is where most of us fail and perhaps the magic is lost simply because we say it without meaning the magic to work. Often, those who are offered the apology and told sorry are equally guilty of not wanting to accept the apology either because they perceive their hurt to be too deep and too malicious to be healed by the balm of the word sorry. Of course ego and thoughts of revenge too sneak in to the psyche to ensure that a SORRY is kept at bay till one has got even.

It is essential that one says sorry at the earliest possible moment when one has realized that one has made a mistake. Many of us take time to acknowledge our mistakes because the apologizing becomes an ego issue. This delay in acknowledging mistakes and deciding to say sorry could lead to misunderstanding and sour relationships which then become more complicated to restore back to normal. Equally important is the sincerity with which the sorry is said and the genuine feeling of remorse must be evident in the apology to make it effective and acceptable. Similarly it is essential that the people who have been aggrieved and to whom the apology is tendered be open and magnanimous in pardoning the mistake and being able to forgive. This takes a large heart, a soft approach and enormous patience. An apology must also be received with good grace showing respect to the person apologizing and saying sorry for it is in the manner and courtesy extended that will determine how the future course of the relationship will pan out.

A good way to view the use and effectiveness of apologizing and saying sorry is to see it as the oil that keeps the wheels of relationships moving. No matter how deep the divide, how painful the hurt, how swiftly the relationship was yanked out or how insulting the humiliation, if those who have erred can honestly acknowledge their fault and sincerely offer to say SORRY and if those receive the apology can keep their egos aside and seek a rapprochement both parties will find it the most Simple Option to Rejoin Relations Yanked.

Action Points:

1. Do you now regret not saying sorry to someone with whom you have broken off or had a dour relationship? Similarly do you now regret not forgiving someone who said sorry but your ego didn’t permit you to forgive him/ her? Remember it is still never too late to forgive and say SORRY, for it will be a big burden of your chest.
2. Look back at your younger days and recollect the following incidents and what you feel about it then and what you feel about it today

• A time when you goofed up your homework and your apology was not accepted
• A time when you bitterly disagreed with your parents and later they apologized for their tough stand although you knew you were at fault
• The number of times you quarreled with your best friend/ lover/ sibling and then made up.
• The power and feeling you got when someone apologized to you and you accepted it with good grace

Power Act - from http://www.actspot.com/  is focused on -

Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog http://www.actspot.wordpress.com/

GROW

It is the natural order of life that one has to grow. All living creatures and plants have to grow physically but it is the human race alone who has the ability to work on his/ her non physical growth be it emotional growth, psychological growth, personal growth, academic and intellect, financial growth or spiritual growth. The way to GROW therefore is rooted in ones ability and efforts in Grasping Rewarding Opportunities Wisely.

For anyone to grow there are three essential conditions; the willingness to grow, the ability to spot opportunities and the daring to grasp the opportunities no matter how difficult it may seem. Most of us are content with life as it is but we are frustrated that others seem to have more luck, more opportunities and an easy path to grow. We believe that others are more intelligent ( we do not see them burning the midnight oil in order to achieve their excellence), that they are more emotionally stable ( we do not see them venting their frustrations), others are more popular and social ( we cannot phantom the sacrifices they make in order to keep their relationships growing) etc. When we see the efforts made by others, we rationalize that the end result is not worth it simply because we are not prepared to grow if it involves a lot of effort. Hence we shy away from aiming for the success of others that we secretly envy and occasionally despise. Willingness to grow therefore is the trigger that will help us explore opportunities to grow.

Just being willing to grow is not enough because we have to be proactive if we want to grow. This means that we have to be on the look out for opportunities to expand our imagination, harness our abilities, experiment and discover and furrow a lonely path with just faith to guide us along. Ironically almost all opportunities come disguised as problems. Yet we are so conditioned to escape from problems, avoid problems and pass on the problems to others that we end up scouting for things on a platter and these are really non existent. No opportunity comes out screaming aloud but we keep our senses alert we can see it in a jiffy. Alas, when we are not willing to grow we tend to lapse into a smug and contended life style like the frog who things his well is the ocean. On the other hand if we are desperate to grow, then we would like the frog who fell into a pail of milk keep continuously paddling till the milk turned to cream and then using that surface launch ourselves to take the big leap and discover opportunities galore.

Grasping the opportunities is more tricky mainly because no one wants to confront difficulties and most opportunities come disguised as difficulties. Take the case of someone wanting to improve his physically appearance and get a 6 pack. He has no choice but to follow a strict exercise and diet regime. The same holds true for someone wanting to lose weight. Are we really prepared for that strict regimentation? Human nature would ideally want life to be smooth sailing, fun filled and bereft of unhappiness or sadness so anything that disturbs that equilibrium is shunned, despised and consigned to the back burner. What we fail to realize is that even diamonds need to be polished and cut before they sparkle and gain value. It is not just hard work that is required but also persistence, self belief, risk taking ability, courage of conviction etc. that are put to the test, when we Grasp Rewarding Opportunities Wisely and attempt to frog leap ahead in life and GROW.

Try this:

1. Click on this link and observer the image carefully. http://tinyurl.com/23lmmj6. Can you see the two images in this picture of the young lady and the old woman. Our life is like that image…it GROWS the way we see it.  
2. Outline 3 areas of growth you plan for the coming year in the following dimensions of your life

•  knowledge
•  social service
•  personal potential
•  environmental awareness

Power Act - from http://www.actspot.com/ is focused on -

Powering your Spirit to ACT Now. 

You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog http://www.actspot.wordpress.com/