SILENCE

There is an old adage which reads ‘SILENCE is golden’. Perhaps the beginning of this adage could be attributed to our forefathers, the cave men who leveraged the power of silence the most when in the jungle. They used silence to stalk a prey and kill for food and they also used silence as a means to eliminate potential danger from animals and foes stalking them. Over thousands of years just as the cave men evolved the meaning of silence evolved and today we Soak In Life Eliminating Noise Clutter & Ego through silence.

While communication has progressed in leaps and bounds, from sign language to the spoken word to the written word and today through wireless technology, our senses are being overworked and fatigued by the sheer magnitude, variety and intensity of the communication tirade. As a result we now have to make a systematic and conscious effort to embrace silence. Putting the mobile phones on silent mode is a visible manifestation of the need for silence to be induced. With noise overpowering us in different ways, being immune to its wiles is not an option. However by being aware that noise is negatively impacting us we find ways and means to address the issue so that we have a better appreciation of our life devoid of complications.

Meditation is perhaps one of the most popular techniques used to leverage the power of silence. The Vippasana method is perhaps one of the most intensive and effective techniques of using the power of silence to connect with the inward self and to rediscover ourself. Whatever the technique, the essence of silence is cut out the noise in our life both physical and metaphorical so that we can listen to our heart, our mind and our conscience. This means we have to eliminate Noise which is sound from the physical world as well as the sounds of negativity, fear and loneliness which is psychological. Then there is clutter that is an outcome of a disorganized, confused and tardy style of lining and thinking. Lack of concentration, being easily distracted and flirting with ideas and thoughts aimlessly, are manifestations of this type of noise. Finally there is the ego, which time and time again rears its ugly head and manifests itself in one-upmanship, the compelling urge to hold center stage and a defiant and stubborn attitude.

Libraries are prime examples of how SILENCE is accorded a god like status. Have you noticed that you can focus better, widen the depth and breadth of your knowledge  and above all stimulate & recharge yourself in the library. If you were to extend the golden rule of silence in everyday life, you would be more observant, less argumentative, soak in a lot more and have people pay attention to you when you share your thoughts and ideas. This is because SILENCE provides both you and those around you an opportunity to Soak In Life Eliminating Noise Clutter & Ego

Action Points

1. Next time you attend a meeting or follow a discussion on TV observe those who speak sparingly. How do they come across in their style of communication? Do they make substantially more contribution to the quality of the discussion/ meeting?
2. Try to sit silently for 5 minutes. Did time weigh heavily on you? Were you able to control your mind from wandering here and there and thinking about a wide variety of issues?
3. Watch a Charlie Chaplin movie to appreciate the power of eloquence emitting from that silent movie.

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STROKE

For the average person, the word STROKE immediately conjures up a terrible image of a heart attack that leads to death. For the less panicky, depending on their favorite game the work STROKE can have a much more favorable image being seen vividly. The word instantly brings to mind some exquisite backhand down the line stroke or a forehand cross court stroke for tennis buffs and for the cricket enthusiast the same word could trigger images of an array of strokes executed by batsmen over the years. The golf enthusiast won’t be far behind either with some exciting and vivid imagination of his/her dream stroke. However, today we shall focus attention on a less well known but widely accepted and exceptionally useful concept of a psychological stroke which in effect could be seen as Stimulus Transferred Regularly Often Kindles Encouragement.

Broadly there are two types of stokes that one is generally aware of; the positive stroke and the negative stroke. However in real life a large number of people go around without getting any stroke. These are the unfortunate people who end up getting No Strokes and live a lonely life, walk around like lost sheep, lack self pride, feel insignificant and victimized and perceive the world to be against them. With this background we can attempt to understand how the concept of STROKEs has both relevance and utility to each one of us in our everyday life. In fact a better understanding of the topic would enable us to enrich our own life and positively impact the lives of the many people around us. 

While negative strokes ( like getting slapped, shouted at, insulted, blamed etc.) are seen as the most avoidable type of stroke, the subtle reality is that getting No Strokes is perhaps the worst emotional and psychological trauma for a human being especially since we are the most evolved social animal. To appreciate this it is essential that we need to understand what a no stroke situation is. Imagine a prisoner kept in an isolation cell. This is normally done to the most dangerous and violent criminal and the idea is the break the prisoner down since as a social animal he/ she need the company of other human beings. While none of us may experience this kind of isolation, imagine the plight of a machine operator working an 8 hour shift or a bus driver seated all alone in the driver’s seat without the benefit of frequent human interaction. Some may have had the experiences of forcibly being isolated when suffering from chicken pox and apart from the suffering from the illness, the loneliness and forced rejection by others may have worsened the trauma. 

When subjected to no strokes, the human tendency is to seek some stroke even if it is a negative stroke. An understanding of this reality can perhaps explain why last benchers in class are often disruptive, naughty and mischievous. This also could provide a clue to why bus a driver keeps blowing the horn or revs the engine of the bus whilst at a traffic signal provoking angry stares and possibly shouts and abuses from others around. 

Ideally every one craves  positive strokes. A smile is the simplest, cheapest and most effective positive stroke. A pat on the back, a word of praise and appreciation are other common means of extending a positive stroke. Positive strokes are of two types. When the stroke is freely given without any expectation it could be called a positive unconditional stroke whereas a positive stroke given with an expectation is a positive conditional stroke. An example of the latter would be a parent offering a reward for doing well in exams or a person obliging another in the hope of getting a return favor latter. Obviously the best possible stroke is a POSITIVE UNCONDITIONAL STROKE for that is when Stimulus Transferred Regularly Often Kindles Encouragement.

Action Points:

1. Over the next 1 week make a list of the different people with whom you had a chance to interact and who gave you strokes and classify the same into negative, positive unconditional , positive conditional and no strokes. For the same list of people and situations outline what kind of strokes you gave or times when you didn’t give any stroke. Examine your emotions for each recording.
2. What kind of strokes would you normally give to the following people

• A widower who is considered a crank neighbor by others
• Your boss or school/ college principal whom you meet on the road suddenly
• Your former girlfriend/ boy friend who you unexpectedly meet at a party
• The person at the check out counter who is slow, confused and obviously not well trained in his./ her job
• A key team member who did not turn up for a match because of an emergency that occurred about which you are not convinced.
• The person who scored first place by one mark over you.

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Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our inspirational and motivational blog

http://www.actspot.wordpress.com

SIMPLE

One of the challenges people in general and teachers in particular grapple with is to make their communciation SIMPLE. The key here is to ensure that Something Informative is Made Plain Lucid and Easy. No doubt it is easier said than done for it takes a special effort to ensure that things can be made simple. However if we have closely studied the more popular teachers in school or some of the exceptional tuition teachers in coaching classes, we would observe that it is their ability to simplify the complicated, the difficult made to look easy and their lucid explanations that endear them to us.

We must take a cue from them and develop our own style to ensure that our communication, interaction, explanations are SIMPLE, for then it can be quickly grasped, understood and acted upon by the receiver. One of the difficulties that impede our ability to be simple is our obsessive need to sound intelligent and articulate. In this process, we end up using jargon, buzzwords and acronyms to show off our superiority. Most times we end up alienating our audience, confusing them and making them feel inadequate, which ultimately leads them to abandon the interaction lest they make a fool of themselves.

The most common problem in simplifying matters is our own lack of preparation and effort. If we want to ensure understanding, it is critical that we understand our audience their abilities and their grasp of the subject. This understanding should be put in perspective when we draw up our communication so as to ensure that we do not alienate them during the process of communication. All this takes effort and we need to ask ourselves if we have that kind of zeal and motivation. Our inability to put the receiver of the communication first, invariably leads to a situation where we assume too much about the receiver. Consequentially we alienate them because they find us too high flown and perhaps a wee bit too intellectual for their tastes.

Using all the forms of communication available appropriately, be it visual, audio, verbal, non verbal, olfactory will ensure simple and effective communication. Equally important is the use of appropriate words and visuals to reinforce the communication and ensure it is understood in the correct context. Thus simplifying communication is quite a challenge but there is great sense of satisfaction when Something Informative is Made Plain Lucid and Easy and they respond with enthusiasm and glee.

Action Points:

1. Identify the various words in this write up that you are not familiar with and look up their meanings in the dictionary. Also try to find out the synonyms of those words. This will be one way you can improve your vocabulary.
2. Make a team of 3 persons. Now attempt to play a game called ‘What is the right word?’ The rules are simple. Person 1 will write a word on a chit and give it to Person 2, who will then get three chances to say a word that is closest in meaning to the word on the chit. Person 3 has to guess the word on the chit using the hints given by Person 2. You can decide how many clues Person 2 can give. Ideally the word is to be identified in three tries. eg. Word given is RUSH. Clues could be Haste, Run, Urgent, Speed etc.

If you have more people then make teams of twos and nominate one person to be the person giving the original word to each team of two. 

 Power Act - from http://www.actspot.com/  is focused on -

Powering your Spirit to ACT Now.

You are also invited to visit our DAILY inspirational and motivational blog http://www.actspot.wordpress.com /